where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
