peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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