I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I am midnight drunk by noon
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
porn star boner night. come get it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You were trust falling into bushes
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
