I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
