That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
