I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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