My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And then the night went full on bisexual.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
