Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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