Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
