I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
