I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
