guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
ā€ˇ"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42ā€¯ tv lol
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, thereā€™s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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