No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
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