Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize