A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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