sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize