dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
