He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just found puke in my bra..
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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