So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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