My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
