I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
