Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize