remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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