She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
