The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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