I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Of course I have a pirate flag
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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