Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
