I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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