if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
