At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
high people should be assigned attendants
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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