I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
