i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
