Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
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