wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
