Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
