so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize