I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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