so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
