i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
