Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
