Plan B is the new Plan A
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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