lets start a swedish sibling band together
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
