Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
