The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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