I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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