New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
