So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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