Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
