how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
