I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
