It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
