i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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