We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My vagina is officially offended.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
