weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
