??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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