2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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