I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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