Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
we're so committed to being not committed
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
