Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
