I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
