So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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