Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
