I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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